Winter Wonderland !

Over the weekend the kids and I went to my Aunt's farm in Indiana - The snow started to fall on Sunday night and continued through the night, the snow in the country is so much more beautiful than it is here in the city ! We had a great time playing in the snow - hope you enjoy the pictures !

Thanks

As I sit here typing this - I can't believe that it is the day before Thanksgiving! Where has the time gone? Before I know it Christmas will be upon us and gone ! So I am making a decision right now to enjoy the next month ! I am going to be intentional about trying to make the most of every moment ! I want to take it all in before it is gone - I do not want to spend another New Year's Day wondering where the holidays went- and how I seemed to have missed them !

I am starting today - On the eve of Thanksgiving - I have so many blessings to be incredibly thankful for. Lately, I have been taking many of them for granted - I have complained quite a bit, and acted in a not so nice manner to many people around me, mostly my husband, so I apologize to all that I have treated like crap and pray that you can forgive me. I will not dwell any longer on my negativity, but instead I will focus on the many things that I have to be thankful for.

I have the most amazing husband, wonderful children, and an extended family that is insane but awesome, I have some of the greatest friends a girl could ask for, I have been blessed more than I deserve and I am so grateful for all that I have.

I hope that I can truly slow down and enjoy this holiday season - the kids are growing so fast - when they look back I don't want them to feel rushed, I want for them to say that they truly had some amazing holidays with their families and
friends!

This New Year when I sit back and reflect on all that happened over the course of the next month or so, I want to remember the smiles, the laughter, even the tears, I want to remember snuggling up under a blanket with 3 kids on my lap, watching Christmas movies, I want to remember the smell of all of the baking, and the taste of the hot chocolate, I want to remember the sounds of the holiday music that fills not only my home but my heart. This year I want to look back and think to myself - wow, I really am thankful for that incredible month, where everything was just a little closer to perfect!

Concern

Most of you who know my husband - know that Jim is not the most serious person in the world - heck, he may just be the least serious person I know. He is full of jokes and incredibly optimistic, quite the contrast to his pessimistic wife, but somehow we make things work! It is all of his quirks and personality that make it so easy to tell when something is bothering him ! He has been quite different lately - quiet, and almost withdrawn - there is something big on his mind - and while he is quite amazing when it comes to pulling me out of my funk - I can not say the same ! I struggle to know how to be what he needs - I so desperately want to wrap my arms around him and make everything all better. Yesterday was Jim's dads birthday and while I pride myself on knowing dates - somehow this escaped me (maybe it was the incredible amount of pain I was in after spending 8 hours at the ER till 5am, or maybe it was the 6 kids running and screaming, or maybe it was just my own selfishness) There is no excuse, I messed up !And while I know that his dad's birthday was hard on him, I know that he is continuing to have a hard time right now with the approaching holidays - this is the first major event to have come and gone without his dad and my heart breaks for him right now. I have been where he is and know the deep sadness that can fill your heart during the holidays when you have to spend them without someone who belongs with you. I really want to be the support that Jim turns to, I want to be the rock for him that he has been for me so many times. I love my husband more than I could ever put into words and never want to see him hurt, but I feel like this is a pain that I will never be able to take away. Jim and I used to joke when we first started dating that we wished it was possible just wish away each other's prior hurts ( we both had somewhat rough childhoods ) Right now I find myself wishing that I could take this away, that I could wave a magic wand and all of the hurt would be gone, or at least that I would have been a better wife, that I would have been more intentional about us visiting his dad while he was still here, but neither of these things are possible. I need to move forward and be there for my husband, I hope and pray that Jim can talk to someone even if it is not me, and that he can find comfort in his family and in the Lord. It seems as if the last few months have been rough for our small group (everyone seems to be mourning the loss of a loved one ) Recently my friend Becky (who lost her mom a year ago) posted a blog that has helped me to view death a little differently, yes it really hurts but imagine being there to celebrate your birthday with the Lord - or even being in the Lord's presence on a daily basis ! I hope that Jim can be comforted knowing that his father is in a better place, no longer in pain and that he can take comfort knowing that he has a wife here who is willing to do anything to ease his pain.

Happy 9th Birthday Mackenzie Maura !

Nine whole years have passed since I gave birth to an amazing little girl. The fact that Mackenzie just celebrated her 9th birthday makes me feel old, I was a whopping 19 years old when she was born. She has come a long way from the 5lb 5oz 17 inch baby that spent 2 weeks in the NICU. She has brought so much joy and happiness to my life and is such an amazing girl, I can't wait to see the woman that she grows into, but as I reflect on the last nine years - I want so badly for her to stay "my baby". She really makes Jim and I proud to be her parents ! Happy Birthday Princess - you are my life and I would be nothing without you !!! Here are a few pictures of Mackenzie through out the years !

Updates and a Triumphant Return !

First of all I want to thank all of you for your words of encouragement and prayer, these last few weeks have been insane (that may be an understatement). Well, this week has been MUCH MUCH better !!! Aodhan's surgery went well, but we struggled for a week with a fever (close to 104 degrees ) that we could not seem to get to break. Well this week has been much better, no sign of fever, and other than Aodhan being a little more tired than usual, he is pretty much back to normal. Jim had been having some issues at work, that have resolved (at least for this week ) He has been home before sunset all week, though not much before, but hey it is better than the 9-10 pm nights we had been having, although I know as I am typing this he will get one of those late crappy calls tonight just to prove me wrong. We also were dealing with some car issues, that with a little help, Jim was able to take care of, so our van is back up and running !!! It has been a pretty amazing week, and I must say I am feeling much better about life in general ! I feel as if everywhere I turn I am seeing God's blessings, not just in my family, but in several other people's lives as well !

So, with the week going just about as well as could be expected, Family Fun Day made its triumphant return yesterday (for those of you who do not know what that means I have an older post that will explain all of the awesome details) !!!! Jim needed to be in Chicago to meet with his lawyer for a traffic matter at 5pm, so what better excuse would I need than that to spend the day in the city I LOVE !!!!! We gathered the kids up early yesterday morning, ate a very unhealthy breakfast in the car, and headed to our hometown!!! Jim was unable to get his voter's registration changed before the deadline, so we began the day with a short stop for Jim to vote early !!!! I know this may not seem like family fun to some people, but in our house, it is not an option - You have to vote!!! It was awesome to show the kids just how important it is ! Jim and I had a great political discussion in the car on the way to the city and explained some of the process and details to the kids - I feel like we are pretty open and honest with them on the issues ! When we arrived at the polling place, Jim took the kids with him and walked them through the entire process (even Keiran was excited afterward, and Aodhan decided to announce to the entire poling place who Dad voted for, while Mackenzie who understood a little more the process of casting your ballot secretly, tried to refute what her brother was telling the world, thinking this would trick everyone into not knowing who he voted for ! ) It was awesome to watch and to begin to instill in them a sense of civic responsibility !

After voting, we headed to Navy Pier, to the Chicago Children's Museum - the kids had an amazing time - and so did Jim and I! Although, it was much too rainy to walk around outside on the pier and the ferris wheel was shut down because of the weather we still had a great time. We then headed to one of the kids favorite places to eat in the city, Rainforest Cafe! We had a great early dinner (and found out that on Wednesdays the kids eat for 1.99 - which made dinner that much more enjoyable ! Jim talked to his lawyer and we headed home, just in time for StuCo small groups.

It was a pretty amazing day, and has been a wonderful week thus far (minus the migraine that I have been fighting through for the last few days), I am praying that the storm is over and that this can start to be what most of my weeks are like - I know that there will be rough days, but I just can't take them one after another ! I NEED more weeks like this !

Surgery

Aodhan recently was diagnosed with sleep apnea (he stops breathing periodically during his sleep) Today we went to see an ENT specialist and he has to have his tonsils and adenoids removed, they are chronically inflamed and interfering with his breathing. The surgery is scheduled for Friday morning. Not much notice, but hey what can you do. I am a little overwhelmed - there is a lot I need to get done before I can be confined to the house for a few days, there are groceries to get ( I need to stock up on ice cream, popsciles, and baby food) , and i need to figure out what to do with the girls, and I must admit I'm a little nervous. I know this is a procedure that millions of kids have done, but this is my boy, and it makes me a little scared. Having a nursing background - I know that there is always a risk when they need to be sedated. We also have some bleeding issues in my family so that can always cause problems. I am also pissed - pissed that Jim's job can sometimes be super understanding and sometimes they can be jerks. He is not going to be able to be there with us in the morning. Please pray for Aodhan, he is scared and nervous and pray for me, that I can be strong enough to hold it together for him !

Kentucky !

Jim and I are fortunate enough to have family that LOVES our kids !!!! 2 of my aunts, who do not have children of their own, are always taking our kids places. They usually take them for long weekends, 2 non consecutive weeks over the summer to go camping, over Christmas vacation (for a few days), for weekend trips to dog shows (one of my aunts is a breeder and has several show dogs) and for a couple other reasons here and there. Recently my aunt needed to pick up a puppy in Kentucky, and thought it would be a great reason to take the kids for 3 days. The kids left Thursday night and drove down to Kentucky with my aunts, they stayed in a hotel, went to the Kentucky Horse Park, took a tour of the Kentucky River on the Dixie Belle, and got to help pick out the new puppy !! I don't know too much about their trip because I was not there, but the kids can't stop talking about it and the pictures are super cute !! Looks like they had fun!

TAG !

So, tag I guess I'm it!! My friend Sara aka http://odd-dotty.typepad.com/ tagged me....so here we go! I'm supposed to come up with 'Six Random Things About Me' and post it. I'm horrible at this stuff !

Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post. (I don't know HOW I will do this!).
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know your entry is up.

That's it. Let the fun begin...

1. I am afraid of the dark - but it has to be completely dark in order for me to fall asleep - how is that for strange?

2. I am OCD when it comes to deodorant - I need to apply my deodorant 17 times to each arm pit - I am super paranoid of BO

3. I have never bought one of my kids Halloween costumes - I enjoy making their costumes so much - that I have actually made costumes that ended up costing more than if I would have just bought them

4. I used to not be able to pronounce shoulders - every time I tried to say it, it would come out soldiers !!! Weird huh ?

5. Someone just rang my doorbell - not expecting anyone !!!! - That was very random wrong house !

6. I was accepted to Harvard my Junior Year of High School - this is the one thing about myself I allow myself to brag about (so I guess I could be a part of the awesome club - is there any room left with all of your big heads ????) But anyway, they sent a rep to my HS and presented me with this framed award and certificate for admission and it was really strange because the HS called a special assembly for it. and that was the only thing they had for the assembly so it was very awkward for me, and it was not planned so we all got down to the auditorium and they called me up on stage !!! Very WEIRD !!!!

So there you have it - 6 random things about me ! How bout you?

WISH YOU WERE HERE !!!!

I have struggled with depression on and off for some time now, and have finally come to the realization that despite my desire to no longer be "depressed" I will probably always be just that. I have taken myself off of my medications more times than I care to count, only to find myself right back in that hole of despair. I long to be well, and not with the assistance of medication or a counselor. But I have a disease, a scientifically proven disease (and despite what Tom Cruise and his "medical degree" may say, it will not just go away with exercise and vitamins) a disease that like others could be fatal if not treated properly. Now I know you may think that this seems a little extreme, but for me my depression has gotten so severe that I can honestly say that it has at times felt as if living were no longer an option. I know, it is not cancer, but for me I know that left untreated I am asking for trouble. Much like a person with diabetes would not do well without their meds, because their body is not properly functioning; I too am not functioning properly and I need my meds. I know this, I have been told this several times, but I still have to talk myself into taking that pill every morning. I do not like being dependent on anything, but I am trying to approach this from a different angle, lately when it comes time to take my meds, I tell myself my family needs this (my family is dependent on this) So far it is working, I have been feeling much better lately, dare I even say happy. Yeah, I still have times where it feels as if I am fighting a losing battle, that the weight is too much to carry, and that it is too overwhelming to even begin to explain. I still get stressed (my husband's job is really testing my patience) and I still get angry, but I think things up till now have been turning around greatly since December (when I had to go to the ER because I could not trust myself to be alone without thinking seriously about hurting myself) I have been enjoying life and look forward to doing things with my family and friends, which is a huge difference from the person I was less than a year ago.

With all of that being said, I am feeling myself begin to struggle again - September is the worst month for me emotionally. Every year, September is literally HELL for me !!! My father and grandmother both have passed and both have September birthdays, my father also died on Sept. 28th. I don't understand why these events are still so horrible for me. I often feel like a child - "it's not fair, why me, why them ?" Get over it already! As I sit here typing this, it is my Grandmother's birthday. I am mad - mad as hell that I can not celebrate her 80th birthday with her. She was the most amazing woman ever - I can not begin to express all that she did for me. Long story short, my mother was an unwed teenage mom who had problems of her own to deal with (she has struggled with substance abuse for my entire life) My gram made sure that despite that fact I had a true childhood - she took such great care of me and loved me deeper than I could have ever asked for or deserved. There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss her. I wish my children could meet her (Mackenzie was 6 months olds when she passed), I wish that Jim would have been able to get to know her (they met when we were children, but she had passed by the time we started dating), I truly just wish she was here.

My feelings are quite the opposite for my father. As I said, my mom was an unwed teenager when she got pregnant, and my father could not be bothered with a child at that point. He was addicted to heroine, and that was the most important thing in his life. I grew up 6 blocks from my father in the same neighborhood and never remember meeting him. The only time I remember seeing my father he was in a casket (he contracted HIV from sharing needles and died of AIDS when I was 14). While he was sick my dad tried to set up a meeting with me and my mom (they remained friends till he died) and I wanted nothing to do with him. I am full of questions, I am full of regret, I should have been the bigger person, I should have taken that opportunity to get to know my father. Still I wish he was here !

I feel like these things should make me a little sad, but every September I am consumed with grief, as if they just passed. I should be comforted knowing that they are home in the loving arms of an amazing God, that they no longer suffer from cancer or addiction, that my father has been forgiven for all of his wrongs; but somehow I long to be with them - the depression creeps in and I find all of it too hard to handle. Life gets really hard, and I don't want to do it anymore, and I just want to be there with them! I know that I have a family here that I need to care for and I am doing better than years past, but the thoughts are still there.

How do I escape? My husband is an amazing support for me and I am trying to turn to God more than I have in the past. I am praying for strength, for peace of mind, and for comfort. I am praying for God to heal my wounded heart, and I am thanking Him for the amazing gifts He has provided for me. I am trying to turn the negative thoughts into positive - Thank you God for allowing me to have such an amazing, beautiful woman to raise me, and thank you for providing a loving father for me in Jesus, someone I can turn to in all times, whose sacrifice for me was far greater than any earthly father. I stumbled upon this passage from the bible this morning - ...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. (Isaiah 61:3) I think it fit perfectly and gives me such immense hope.

Health Issues

The other day I made a doctors appointment for all of the kids - we have bounced around from Dr. to Dr. since moving out here and I finally found a well recommended pediatrician, and since it is officially back to school time, I figured it was time for some check ups. The day before our appointment all 3 kids came down with a horrible cold, perfect timing ! We arrived at the office and registered ( i must tell you all that this doctor's office was amazing ! The kids loved the waiting room - one of the nurses came out and put on Shrek for the kids, they were in Heaven) We only waited a few minutes before being called back, and the nurses were super friendly! They let each of the kids play with the scale, bp cuff, and thermometer, this eased a lot of Keiran's fears - she wants to be a doctor now when she grows up. The doctor came in and talked to all of the kids, he talked to me about home schooling the kids, and was super supportive.

Keiran was the first to be checked, which always makes me nervous, but she was great. He asked the dreaded question though. "Are her immunizations up to date?" They are not, Keiran had a horrible reaction to her 12 month immunizations and has not had any since, her leg swelled to double its normal size and she had a golf ball size lump at the injection site for 2 months, plus a 104 degree fever for 3 days. I explained this to the doctor, expecting to be yelled at or pressured into having her immunized - he did none of that, his actual words were "I understand, we can explore this again when she is a little older." He checked her lungs and determined that Keiran has asthma - a mild case but asthma none the less - she has been on steroids for the last week - we stop those in 3 days, and she is now on a daily nasal inhaler.

Mackenzie was next - Now, I told her that she would not need any immunizations before we got there (it used to be Kindergarten and then 5th grade) Starting this year they have recommended that children get a 2nd dose of the chicken pox vaccine and a Hep A series, so that meant 2 shots for Mackenzie. Mackenzie does not handle shots well, but she was a champ - a few tears were shed but she did well. She has a inner and middle ear infection in both ears and a sinus infection.

Aodhan was the last to be checked - I knew he was in for a few shots (he is entering Kindergarten) The doctor checked Aodhan and was concerned about some breathing patterns he exhibited, and the size of his tonsils and adenoids. He asked if he was a snorer - Yes a very loud snorer !! He is concerned that Aodhan has sleep apnea (Jim has sleep apnea) Aodhan will see an ENT specialist, who will decide if it would be best for them to take his adenoids and tonsils out (the Dr said he thinks this will be the best solution, but wants an ENT opinion too). He also got 5 shots and had blood drawn - he was a strong little trooper though and did pretty well, all though he broke my heart when he told me "Momma, I love you so much will you please just take me out of here before they come back with the shots, please just take me home!"

I was very excited to finally find an incredible pediatrician that seems to fit our family. The Dr. was so nice and really took his time with all of the kids, he laughed and joked around with them, and really took the time to talk to them getting to know them. It just really stinks to find out that your kids have health issues. Please keep the kids in your thoughts and prayers. I know that the asthma is not super serious but I hope it is something she outgrows rather than gets worse, and I hope that Aodhan's pending surgery goes just as smoothly as possible and his recovery is quick!

Homecoming 08

No, not a football game. Homecoming Montgomery style ! This past weekend was one of the biggest events ever at CCC-Montgomery! Over 300 people gathered together to have a giant party, called Homecoming 2008! It was a tremendous success. There was an actual pig roast, a DJ, a face painting and tattoo station, 2 bounce houses, a clothes pin drop, pick a lollipop, a dunk tank, and a family competition.

Jim and I spent a few hours painting faces and giving tattoos (temporary) to almost all of the kids. Butterflies were a huge hit with the girls and Darth Maul was a favorite for the boys. The kids ran around and played all of the games with their friends. They spent a considerable amount of time in the bounce houses(Keiran was too funny, she would only go in the princess house - because the sports one "was for stinky boys") There was a giant pot luck picnic, complete with shredded pig, which tasted incredible, but I must admit I had a hard time eating.

The dunk tank was a huge hit. Several of the church leaders took turns being dunked by almost everyone there. Our good friend Carter spent some time in the tank - and talked a little trash to all of the kids in line - his trash talking did no good though - he went in on the first throw from a little 5 year old girl !!! Another good friend of ours, and StuCo director Tim Raad also spent a considerable amount of time in the tank - mostly under water. I have seen dunk tanks before, but I have never seen one draw the kind of crowd Tim drew. There was a considerable line, mostly full of students, waiting to dunk Tim ! Only a few seconds passed before the conspiring started - regardless of whether or not Tim got knocked in, the students were going to get him in one way or another. It started with one student throwing at the target while another student stood behind the tank ready to pull the arm if the student missed their mark. That approach lasted a few minutes before they decided that they would just run up and punch the target, knocking Tim in almost as soon as he sat back down! I have never seen anyone spend that much time under water! It was pretty hilarious. Several other people were subjected to the torture of the dunk tank, including lead pastor, Dave Ferguson. Eventually it turned in to an all out water fight between students and leaders, if you were within 10 feet of the tank you were getting soaked!

There was also a little friendly family competition. The family competition consisted of a twinkie and ho ho eating contest, a balloon popping relay, a blindfolded fill the empty gallon relay, and a paper airplane making and flying contest. We upped the stakes a little for bragging rights, 3 of the families in our small group competed to see who would score the most points. The first event consisted of one team member holding an empty gallon about 30 feet from the other team members, while the other members (blindfolded) filled a cup with water and raced to the other end to fill the empty gallon. The next event was a twinkie and ho ho eating contest in which you were unable to use your hands, 2 team members competed in this one, one person had to eat a twinkie as fast as they could followed by another team member eating a ho ho. This was much tougher than it sounds for all but one student, Mitch was able to swallow a ho ho whole !!! Next came the balloon pop - each team had to relay to pop 4 balloons. The first team member had to tie a balloon to their waist, run to the empty chair and pop the balloon by sitting on it. The next team member could not start tying their balloon to their waist until the previous player made it back! The final event of the competition was a paper airplane making and flying contest in which each team had 2 minutes to make and fly a paper airplane as far as possible - Team Bard decided that since it was never specifically stated that your entry had to resemble a plane we would test the rules. Jim and Trevor (an honorary Bard) balled up our paper and threw it - we were disqualified from that portion of the contest!!!! Team StuCo (yes they are a family) won the competition. They were rewarded with a PIG TROPHY ! And as for that small group competition, none of our families scored ANY points - I guess we are just all so awesome there couldn't be one winner.

It was an incredible afternoon. The Montgomery team did a phenomenal job ! I think everyone there had a great time, I know we did !!!!

Reflections of another Summer gone

Well, Labor Day weekend has past, and so has the unofficial end to Summer!! I have been dreading this since Summer began. It feels as if the older I get the quicker the years pass (especially Summer). I know that people often say that time flies, but this Summer really did fly by.

I did not have such high expectations for this Summer, it was a Summer with no set plans, no vacation, no real weekends - man this Summer would be one of the worst !! So, I was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be one of the most memorable Summers we have spent as a family !

The Summer of 2008 was very eventful for our family, and I feel as if we have grown so much closer. We have had some major schedule changes with Jim's new job (he now works every Saturday and is off one day during the week) I was less than thrilled with the idea of losing our weekends but it turned out ok - we have become very intentional about spending the day he is off together (this is what we are calling family fun day), we probably have ended up doing more together than we would have during the weekends.

So just what made the Summer of 2008 so awesome - well here are a few things - I know I'm forgetting stuff !

~Camping - one of our favorite activities - we took a few trips this Summer - One with the Moberly's, one with our small group, and one with just our family ! GREAT TIMES !!!

~Kenny Chesney Concert (this is a Summer tradition Jim and I started 4 years ago with Mackenzie - We added Aodhan into the mix 2 years ago - and I am looking forward to next Summer being able to bring Keiran along)

~T-Ball - Jim and I put together and coached t-ball for the kids. We had a great time and I think the kids did too. We even had an end of the season BBQ and awards ceremony!

~4th of July weekend - we had a great time hanging out with all of our friends

~Keiran turned 3 !! - This was a bitter sweet moment for me - she is my last baby and 3 just sounds so old, but I am looking forward to the next stage

~Quality and Quantity time alone (WITHOUT KIDS) - Jim and I got to spend 2 non-consecutive weeks together this Summer without the kids (they went on a few camping trips with my aunts, who have no kids of their own) Yes, I missed them horribly, but Jim and I really got a chance to reconnect and spend an incredible amount of time together that was mostly stress free and quiet !!

~2 block parties - a growing up in Chicago tradition revisited with my kids

~The Water park - We made countless trips to the water park this Summer - watching the kids in the water is amazing - They are like fish, and Aodhan has no fear of anything - he does the drop slide into 12 ft water and swims like a champ !

~Day trips to Chicago - We still have tons of family that lives in the city - and so we often take a drive to Chicago and head back later that night - this is so much nicer to do when it is Summer and you don't have to worry about the kids and school work the next day and it is light so much later. We hit a few museums, the rain forest cafe, and some other places I'm forgetting right now

~Junior High Camp - Jim and I had the incredible experience of leading at StuCo's Junior High Camp this summer. All I can say is that it was an incredibly powerful, amazing week

~The Jonas Brother's Concert - Do you know what 35,000 screaming girls sounds like ? Well I do ! This is also another bit of a tradition for me ( I have been to a New Kids on the Block concert when I was 9 - I took my sister and cousins, 9 years younger than me, to see Hanson and N Sync) and now, I got to share in Mackenzie's joy as she experienced the Jonas Brothers - We went with my good friend Becky and her 2 daughters - and the girls had screams of pure joy - It was great getting to make my daughter that happy (well I'm sure it had more to do with the Jonas Brothers than me actually taking her )

~Just hanging out with friends and family and having a great time

It really was an amazing Summer - I feel relaxed and refreshed! I must admit there were a few things I did not get to, but I can live with it I am pretty happy with the Summer I had. Now I just have to gear myself up for the weather change that is in store soon !

~SONIC~

ok, so I must say before I even begin to compose this post that this may be very insignificant to most, if not all, of you who read my blog! But please understand that it is not my love of fast food (I actually hate most fast food places) that prompted this entry. Ok, so most of you have probably figured out that we must have ate at the new sonic ! Not a big deal to most, but please understand that I spent an entire 9 months (while pregnant with Aodhan or was it Keiran? ) craving sonic's food. I did not sleep through most of my pregnancy, so there was a good deal of late night television being watched and I was bombarded with Sonic commercials. I craved almost everything they advertised, but with the closest sonic being a 6 hour drive from Chicago (can you imagine sending your husband on that journey for a craving) I could not have any of it! I once told Jim that if they opened a sonic near us I would order one of everything on the menu. So a few weeks ago, Sonic opened about 15 min from our house (on Kirk near the outlet mall) Yesterday we stopped on our way home for lunch. Now, I have never been to sonic before and wasn't even sure if it would be good, but my good friend Brandie and a few of my girls from StuCo had assured me that it was well worth stopping. Now, I must tell all of you that I DID NOT order one of everything on the menu ! But I really did enjoy my lunch - it was some of the best fast food I have ever had ! Having never been to sonic before though our stop did prompt a few questions and maybe some of you know the answers; Like how much do you tip your car hopper ? and can you eat your food at your stall? and is it rude to eat your food and then order your dessert (otherwise your ice cream would melt) and make your car hopper make 2 trips to your car? and what about when there is no ketchup or dipping sauce for the kids - do you call them back for that ? Well here is what we did - please tell me if I am wrong so I can get it right next time - We tipped the car hopper 3 dollars (i think i would have tipped more if she was on roller skates but she was not.) I skipped dessert because I could just not figure out the proper thing to do here ( that just means I will have to go back ). And I was a terrible mom and forced the kids to eat with no ketchup or dipping sauce. So we had a great lunch ( and yes we ate at the stall) the kids loved hopping into the back of the van and having a "picnic" and I thought the food was great! I would definately recomend trying it if you have never done so before !

Photo update

A couple of weeks ago, I blogged about our new found "Family Fun Day" tradition. I stated that since it was summer most of our activities included water in some way or another. Well, here are some photos from a recent extended "Family Fun Day!" On this particular trip to the water park we had a few guests with us; Jim and I got to bring my sister, Hailey 5 (yes I said sister, but that is a blog entry of its own), my nephew "baby Johnny" 10 months, and Noah Moberly 5 (Aodhan's best friend)! It was interesting having 6 kids at the water park! We got a couple of weird looks, and even a few comments on how we were crazy to have that many kids that close together (they all could pass for belonging to Jim and I - Hailey is the only one who looks slightly different and she could still pass for looking like Jim.) Once we explained that they did not all belong to us, we were told that made us even crazier! But Jim and I really enjoy having the kids around, and six kids at a water park sounds like fun to us. Sometimes I am surprised that we stopped at 3 kids, glad, but surprised! I could see us being one of those huge Irish families with 7 or 8 kids and enjoying it! Jim is just amazing with the kids (I think it is because he is on the same level as most of them) he never fails to impress them ! When I watch him with the kids I fall more in love with him than I already am, he is the greatest Dad in the world! He is always the dad that is ready to jump right in, to play whatever crazy game they have come up with, to wrestle around with them, and to just love them with all he has. Watching him sometimes I choke up; a little jealous of my kids (I never had that experience with my father) but so glad that they have a strong, amazing, incredible, fiercely dedicated dad. I wish that every child was as lucky as mine, I wish that every child had a dad as awesome as Jim, I thank God everyday for giving our family such an incredible man!!! Maybe one day we will follow in the Moberly's footsteps and look into adoption, who knows ! Wow, this was just supposed to be a brief introduction to some pictures, so here they are

T-Ball 2008

Over the last 3 months, Jim and I have had the chance to organize and coach a t-ball league. We had over 30 kids sign up and had an amazing experience with them! The kids ranged in age from 3 to 10, we met once a week and played at a very basic instructional level. The kids were great, it was awesome watching some of the older kids start to "get it," and start playing on a different level! It was also pretty incredible watching the kids help teach the younger ones the basics of the game. It was a great group of kids - who cheered each other on and helped those who were struggling ! It was a great summer of baseball and I am sad for it to be over, but on Tuesday August 12th we had our team BBQ and awards day. We invited each of the kids and their families to join us, cook out and just celebrate all of the hard work that the kids put in each week! At the end of the night each kid was rewarded for their dedication with a trophy. Can't wait for next next season, Jim and I were talking about it last night and we've already come up with some new and exciting things to try next season!!!

~MOVE~

What an amazing experience!!! I am just returning from our 5 day trip to StuCo Junior High Camp, where Jim and I served as leaders, and I can not stress enough what an amazing experience this was!! Several of our friends have told us how awesome camp was for them growing up, but we never had the opportunity to be involved in anything like this. Last February was my first experience with anything like this, we attended StuCo's winter retreat Blast/Fusion, where my friend Brandie and I co-led high school girl's small group. Some very powerful, raw emotions came out that weekend, but I must admit that I had much lower expectations for this week, I mean really it's a bunch of junior high kids (my lack of faith sometimes even surprises me) ! Wow, was I WRONG !!!!!

Tuesday we departed from the yellow box along with several other leaders, student leaders, and hundreds of junior high students . We arrived at Timber Wolf Lodge in Lake City, Michigan Tuesday evening (what an incredible camp- it really was beautiful! ) I was leading a group of high school student leaders as a work crew. We had a rough first night (work crew was not really what we had anticipated - much more WORK than we had expected). The students had a few complaints but for the most part they worked incredibly hard to make it the best possible experience for these junior high students.

MOVE was the theme of the week ~ to move to Jesus, in Community, by the Holy Spirit, with Boldness, and I am sure that this post does incredible injustice to what happened over the course of the week, but all I can say is it was AMAZING to see these students impacted by the fellowship and love that poured over them.

There was plenty of fun for everyone: tubing (I lost my bathing suit bottoms on that one - don't worry, I was under water when I found them. No students saw this happen) a zip line across the lake, mountain biking, the blob, a high ropes course, a rock climbing wall, a beach, sand volleyball, basketball, and much more that I am sure I'm forgetting. Students were for sure moving physically.

There were also amazing services; services so moving that I found it hard to contain my emotions. Here was this huge group of junior high students experiencing at such a young age something that I was 26 before I ever experienced. Each message was so powerful, so applicable, so AMAZING. The first evening message was delivered by our great friend and Montgomery stuco director, Tim Raad, and I must admit that I cried like a baby. I believe it was one of the most powerful messages I have ever heard ! The stuco staff really is incredible!!

Each night we got to watch as the number of students who were committed to following Christ grow, and on the last night we were privileged enough to see an amazing baptism in the lake (what a great moment) ! I was lucky enough to get to work with an incredible group of student leaders, who gave their all to make this experience great for others. I was incredibly proud of my husband, as I watched his interaction with his small group, and I saw (not for the first time and I'm sure not the last) God's love move through him and onto his students. On our last night at camp, I saw the most beautiful shooting star (bigger and brighter that any I have ever seen before ) and as I lay in bed that night and prayed and reflected on the week, that star kind of brought it full circle, God's love can MOVE anything, and because of that we can all shine a little brighter!

LOST !

On Wednesday evening I experienced my worst parenting moment, a moment when I thought to myself "How could I have done this?" As I am typing I am wrestling with whether or not I should even blog about this - do I want a permanent record of my worst moment ? Do I want people to know about this ? But most if not all of my readers are friends and probably have already heard about my short comings, so I figure why not? Maybe it will help rid me of some guilt !

Our family, along with the Moss and Moberly families gathered for dinner (6 adults, 9 kids) on Wednesday evening. It just so happened that Jim had to replace our hot water heater that day, so our van was torn apart with not enough seats in for our family. Rather than take the 10 minutes that it would take to put the van back together, we decided to just divide our family among the Moss and Moberly vehicles.

We all gathered at the Moberly house, the kids were all playing pretty well together, while the adults gathered in the kitchen talking and waiting for everyone to get there. I felt a little pull on my leg, a little voice spoke and said "Mom, I'm going outside to play on the swings!" "No, Keiran we will be leaving in one second" I replied. She walked away and I continued my conversation.

Everyone headed out the door and into the two waiting vans, Jim in one and Me in the other. We got everyone settled and headed off for pizza.

Jim and the Moss family arrived first and got situated at a table. We met them about 5 min later. We unloaded all of the kids and piled into the restaurant. Jim met us at the door and I could see something was bothering him. He quickly scanned the kids and the restaurant, it was at this exact moment I realized something was horribly wrong, Keiran was not with us. "Where's Keiran?" Jim asked as calmly as he could. "She's not with you?, I thought she was with you!" I said freaking out at this point. I think at this point I may have heard someone say she must be in the backyard or maybe I just thought it, but regardless we hopped into the van and got home as fast as we could.

Along the way we called several neighbors, who all headed to the Moberly's house. The Moberly and Moss families also made some phone calls from the restaurant (thank God for cell phones) ! Keiran was sitting on the Moberly's front porch with several of our friends when we arrived.

I gathered her in my arms and cried like a baby. I kissed her little forehead and hugged her so tight, I apologized to her over and over. What went through her head? Was she scared? Did she think we left her on purpose? I will never know what kind of hell I put her through, just typing this I am starting to cry again thinking about what her thought process must have been!

I handed her over to Jim, who patiently waited much better than I could have, to hold her. She turned her sweet little tear stained face to her daddy and asked "Do I still get pizza?"Jim quietly replied "You get whatever you want baby!"

So I am still guilt ridden, and so ashamed ! I am sure one day this will be one of those stories you look back and laugh at, I just don't think it is funny yet ! I have been comforted by several friends who have similar stories, but it shouldn't have happened to me !

Smells ~ WTF !!!!!

Ok, so I have a super strong sense of smell - I mean incredibly strong, most things humans can't smell I can (sometimes it drives me nuts, sometimes I think it is a blessing) I love it when I am the first to pick up the smell of rain, or just the awesome smell that comes with summer evenings. I hate it when I can pick up on some awful smell that no one else senses. I think I drive Jim nuts when I try to track down the source of said smell. Pregnancy was one of those awful times for me - there were so many things that were not allowed to be within 100 yards of me! I am currently feeling like I am back to those pregnancy times, cursed with a super heightened sense of smell that is driving me nuts. On Friday night we came home from our connections progressive dinner, my house was the child care house. I open the door and got hit in the face with what smelled like someone ate eggs for 10 days straight and then decided to come to my house to release their gases. "What the heck is that smell ? " I figured it was just sweaty boys who probably did pass a little gas while we were gone. But no, I woke to the pleasant smell greeting me in the morning !! Yuck, what is that ? Well on Sunday, I uncovered a hidden bag of rotten potatoes in the pantry. Now, if you have been in a hometown house, I use the term pantry lightly, how could I have missed this ? So, I have scrubbed and mopped and bleached just about every surface in my house and I still can smell this awful aroma !! My husband can not smell it and neither can Aodhan, but Mackenzie is right there with me (Jim insists it is because she hears me talk about how bad it is.) Has she been cursed too? Jim is instant that the smell is gone that I just am still smelling it because I knew it was here and am paranoid. Am I paranoid ? Maybe a little - right now I am taking a break from bleaching down every hard surface in my house (AGAIN) and finding any candle that I can to take away the odor ! I just don't want to be the smelly house !!! Anyone have any advice ?

FAMILY FUN DAY !!!!!!

So this is what we now are calling Tuesdays around the Bard/DiCharia household. Let me first give you a little background info - since starting his new job Jim is usually working on Saturdays, and because of this he is off on Tuesdays !!!! Well, the new schedule kind of stinks in my opinion, but we are trying to make the best of it ! So begins FAMILY FUN DAY !!! I think if Jim wakes up to the statement "wake up, it's family fun day !!" (said by me with much enthusiasm) one more time he is going to reach up and punch me ! So let me explain what has to happen for Family Fun Day, first of all no one is allowed to be crabby, pout, or complain, Jim and I must turn off our phones (we allow ourselves to turn them back on while in the car to check any messages), and we must all be together doing something, well obviously, FUN !!!!

So what have we been doing for FAMILY FUN DAY ? Well it is summer and it is hot so we have been spending much time in the water ! Our first family fun day we were a little strapped for cash so we put out the slip and slide, had a water balloon fight and cooked out. We have hit Phillips Water Park a few times, we have gone to Jim's moms house to swim and hang with her while BBQing dinner, and yesterday the girls returned from being with my aunt so we drove to Chicago to pick them up and hit a park district pool and had a McDonalds picnic in the park. So I guess it is pretty obvious that we like the water - my kids love the pool !!! You would swear that we were mermen and mermaids - not true though, I have checked and no one seems to have flippers.

This coming Tuesday we will be gearing up for the 5 day trip Jim and are taking to StuCo Junior High Camp (which I'm sure will lead to several interesting blog posts) so there will be no Family Fun Day on Tuesday, but wait don't feel sad for us, we will be moving Family Fun Day up to Sunday!!! Any suggestions ? I was thinking maybe a pool or water park of some sort !

Family and Friends

Today I had the interesting experience of attending 2 parties in one day! Wow, you say ! How could you handle it - 2 whole parties, what a jammed packed social calendar! But really it was not the quantity of parties but it was the actual quality of the parties. This afternoon I got to attend a family party - now you must understand that my family is different (to put it nicely) and we have gone through our share of ups and downs. Recently (as in since I moved from Chicago) there was quite a bit of drama and family functions tended to be more stressful than ever. My family is super close and no one ever moves away, so when I packed up my kids and moved it caused quite a stir! Now I know this may seem really strange, most people I know have family members all over the country and see each other once maybe twice a year. Not my family, we all grew up together in the same neighborhood in Chicago and we did EVERYTHING together. So when I moved out here, Jim and I made great friends and pulled away from the family a little (OK a lot.) We started doing stuff on our own and skipped out on several family functions, to say the least, it did not go over well. But over the last few months I feel like I have really reconnected with my family and things have been going well. The party today was all that I could have hoped for. The kids had a great time; there was a giant inflatable water slide, face painting and a bounce house (what more could a kid ask for?) There was incredible food (one of my cousins wants to open his own restaurant) and great company. I got to spend some quality time with my family and catch up on all of their summer happenings. All in all it was a great afternoon. The kids (well the girls ) packed up and went home with one of my Aunts to see her new puppy; while Jim and I (along with Aodhan who backed out of going overnight to my aunts) headed back to the burbs for Tim Raad's birthday party. Also, another great party! I had some really great conversations with the girls , the boys played the wii and of course, Jim wrestled with all the kids. There were a couple moments where I just sat back and observed, I really enjoy the awesome dynamic that is our group. I've never experienced these types of friendships before. Maybe it is because I am getting older and I really am understanding the importance of maintaining friendships, maybe it is because I'm older and there is no longer so much pettiness, or maybe it is just that my friends really are that awesome !!! But I really am aware of the fact that what we have is rare, I have never met a group of men and women who get along so well, all of our husband are great friends and us girls are so close it is amazing. I guess what I am really becoming aware of as I mature (yes that is just another way to say getting older) is that people really do make or break things ! It is the people you spend your time with that make events fun - it is the people that make the memories, give me a great group of people and I could have fun in a cardboard box!! I have come to realize that family is important and so are friends ( after all friends are just the family you choose for yourself) I really do love my family and friends, I couldn't ask for any better !!!!!!

OUR NEW VAN !!!!

Well, not really new, but new to us!! We are the proud owners of a 1999 silverNissan Quest (yes we match the Moss Family) ! While this may seem like boring news to most people - it is a very exciting day in the Bard/DiCharia household - we have been without a car for what seems like forever !! Really, it has been since May and with 3 kids and a husband living in the burbs where public transportation is non existent it may as well be forever ! We have been fortunate enough to have great friends who have been more than willing to allow us to use their cars/vans whenever we needed ! I am so grateful for all of the help we received (we really do have some awesome friends !) I am super excited about our "new" van, not only do we now have our own transportation but we also own our van! I am very proud of us - the old me (and Jim) would have run out and financed a new car probably one that was more expensive than we could afford. This time we did some heavy debating, considering and praying, and decided that rather than sink ourselves further into debt we would take our time and find a van that was a little older that we could buy outright and not have a car payment to worry about. We figured that if we could avoid a car payment for a few years we would be able to get back on track faster from the last couple years of periodic unemployment. Yeah, we are trying to be a little more financially responsible !! I think we may be starting to grow up ! Now we just have to pray that our "new" van lasts for the 2 years that we want it to !

To Blog or Not To Blog - That is the Question

I have wrestled with this question for sometime now and have finally decided to give in ! It has really helped that I have several friends that have recently begun blogging. I will be very up front with the fact that I may not be the best blogger, I will more than likely fall behind on my posts. This is the main reason for my hesitation in beginning my blog. Will this be another thing I have to get done? Will this be another cause of anxiety and stress? We will soon see, but I am thinking it may be a release - a place where I can put all of the randomness that swirls through my brain on a daily basis. So please forgive me if I space out on my posts, but please enjoy, please comment, and most of all please read!