LOST !

On Wednesday evening I experienced my worst parenting moment, a moment when I thought to myself "How could I have done this?" As I am typing I am wrestling with whether or not I should even blog about this - do I want a permanent record of my worst moment ? Do I want people to know about this ? But most if not all of my readers are friends and probably have already heard about my short comings, so I figure why not? Maybe it will help rid me of some guilt !

Our family, along with the Moss and Moberly families gathered for dinner (6 adults, 9 kids) on Wednesday evening. It just so happened that Jim had to replace our hot water heater that day, so our van was torn apart with not enough seats in for our family. Rather than take the 10 minutes that it would take to put the van back together, we decided to just divide our family among the Moss and Moberly vehicles.

We all gathered at the Moberly house, the kids were all playing pretty well together, while the adults gathered in the kitchen talking and waiting for everyone to get there. I felt a little pull on my leg, a little voice spoke and said "Mom, I'm going outside to play on the swings!" "No, Keiran we will be leaving in one second" I replied. She walked away and I continued my conversation.

Everyone headed out the door and into the two waiting vans, Jim in one and Me in the other. We got everyone settled and headed off for pizza.

Jim and the Moss family arrived first and got situated at a table. We met them about 5 min later. We unloaded all of the kids and piled into the restaurant. Jim met us at the door and I could see something was bothering him. He quickly scanned the kids and the restaurant, it was at this exact moment I realized something was horribly wrong, Keiran was not with us. "Where's Keiran?" Jim asked as calmly as he could. "She's not with you?, I thought she was with you!" I said freaking out at this point. I think at this point I may have heard someone say she must be in the backyard or maybe I just thought it, but regardless we hopped into the van and got home as fast as we could.

Along the way we called several neighbors, who all headed to the Moberly's house. The Moberly and Moss families also made some phone calls from the restaurant (thank God for cell phones) ! Keiran was sitting on the Moberly's front porch with several of our friends when we arrived.

I gathered her in my arms and cried like a baby. I kissed her little forehead and hugged her so tight, I apologized to her over and over. What went through her head? Was she scared? Did she think we left her on purpose? I will never know what kind of hell I put her through, just typing this I am starting to cry again thinking about what her thought process must have been!

I handed her over to Jim, who patiently waited much better than I could have, to hold her. She turned her sweet little tear stained face to her daddy and asked "Do I still get pizza?"Jim quietly replied "You get whatever you want baby!"

So I am still guilt ridden, and so ashamed ! I am sure one day this will be one of those stories you look back and laugh at, I just don't think it is funny yet ! I have been comforted by several friends who have similar stories, but it shouldn't have happened to me !